I,Student Architect: May 2015

Wednesday 6 May 2015

Let me be your mirror

Written by Chitra

(This is dedicated to, the wonderfully crazy

and ridiculously interesting women in my life)

Sometimes when the epic workload hits and the all nighters drain me, I often forget to be happy. I forget that happiness is infact a lifestyle. Lately I've been catching myself feeling unhappy quite frequently.

two days back I decided this needs to stop. I looked back.
What change happened in my life that caused me to become so cynical?
What turned me into a person who needed constant validation?

You see the problem was that I've been asking myself the wrong question ! The question is not and it will never be "what is wrong with me? "

like a philosopher once said, as long as you are alive and breathing there is more right in you than wrong. The question i should have been asking myself is "how did I get here?" Beating myself up over simple mistakes , telling myself I'm not good enough, criticizing myself. Constantly telling myself I am incapable. The mind can only take so much before it breaks down.

Things fell into place when I decided its about time i started giving myself some credit. I remember where I took a wrong step. I had promised myself to always love myself and support myself no Matter what. It seems like I've forgotten that promise. After all, You can't hate yourself into being happy!

So here is a note to my dear girlfriends who have been my happiness and my life for the past one year...who often forgets how to love themselves...

Dear,

When was the last time you saw yourself in the right light? You've all grown so blind with self doubt that when you look into the mirror you only see disappointment ! even the most beautiful of paintings looks unimpressive under dim light. Can't you see you're seeing your self with foggy eyes?

You hesitate so much! Why are you not letting yourself try? Why do you stop yourself when you are about to try something, and convince yourself you can't do it? Why do you blow out the fire every time it sparks inside of you?

Look at you ! So scared! So tired! When have you taken it easy on yourself? When was the last time you let go of a criticism? Do you see how much you are worth ? Do you see how much you're loved and you're needed? Why are you being so mean to yourself? You've surprised me with your talent and you have inspired me to move forward...how can a person with that kind of power think so little of themselves?

I see your talents; Your might; Your determination; Your sincerity; Your willingness to help!

So let me be your mirror. Let me show you the way I see you. Look at me and see how you reflect off on me! If only you could see yourself through my eyes! love yourself the way I love you. Believe in your self because I do.

Look at you, you are so young! We are just starting to live our lives. you can't give up on it before you even start! So let me be your mirror when your eyes are filled with tears and you can't see yourselves anymore. I'll tell you how I see you, bright and clear.

Let me be your mirror.

Sunday 3 May 2015

THE DROPOUT'S STORY

MY MARRIAGE TO ARCHITECTURE

#2 STORY OF A DIVORCE.

(Admin's note : Second year of college was probably the worst year of my life, and its only thanks to Aparna that i was able to pull through. she was there for me through thick and thin, and letting her go was really difficult ! so when i started this blog, i wanted her to be a part of it, even though she stopped being an archi and left TKM. So i asked her to write for my blog.
After reading Aparna's story, i thought this article belonged in the "MY MARRIAGE TO ARCHITECTURE " series, that i started off 2 weeks back . So i took the liberty of making it part of it.)

(Written By Aparna Kumar )

For a student to drop out, it's the worst thing anyone can ever think about. We are brought upin a society where one doesn't have a say in their lives. We are pushed into making decisions because our family wants to look good in society and not even care whether the child wants it or not.

I wasn't a victim of this, yet I was as well. The thing is after 12th I had no idea what I wanted, and being a child who always thought that her parents were disappointed in her, I wanted to make them proud. So, naturally I went along with their decision to join architecture, the course my dad had been wanting me to join since a long time so that I could take over his company.

Well let's just say it was disaster just waiting to happen. I fell in love with the place when I saw it on the first day. It was so tranquil so peaceful. I felt like I belonged there, and for once in my life I actually thought this was THE place where I can shine but it was like as if god was trying to mock me by showing how hell looks from the outside. Don't get me wrong I still love the college and the place but not the people. There were some friends who were my pillars of support through everything and for that I thank them. without them I don't know what I would have done.

I am a girl who is quiet and shy at first and then when I become close I become talkative and fun. My first problem was that everyone was talking in malayalam and that too with slangs and everything. I was born and brought up in Dubai and my family is a traditional malayalee family but because of my school I was forced to speak english all the time; at school and at home. So due to this I was very shy to talk to people as I didn't want them to make fun of me. Worst part was even the teachers sometimes explained in malayalam, this was super bad for me. When I thought I had mastered malayalam and everything was peaceful again, another problem arose; me lack of knowledge about any of the subjects. Everyone around acted like they knew everything ; it was like they had graduated and came back again.

And last but definitely the worst problem the design. I hated designing. I know what you must be thinking; you are an architecture student so how could you hate designing? well I hated it because I was no good at it. I was so bad I never even knew I could be this bad at something until now. All the teachers were behind me yelling at me , telling me I'm no good, I should just quit etc. This led me into depression and by depression I mean badddd depression.

I would eat a hell lot of chocolates and chips just to be happy. I survived on junk and outside food. Money started going really fast from my hands because I used to spend so much on food. I would eat all the time. Binge eating became my second nature. Coffee became my best friend.

I couldn't even sleep, I would just aimlessly watch movies on my laptop and do something on my sheets and just submit them. I knew this couldn't go on anymore. I had to stop it before it was too late. So I had serious talk with my best friend. How much she helped no one will ever know except us. She was so kind to me and she understood what I was going through and never ever judged me as a spoiled brat who just missed luxury.

Honestly I didn't miss Dubai. I just hated the course. If I could have studied something else there I would have but engineering and architecture were the only two things available there. And at last with her help I sent an email to my dad saying everything that I have always wanted to tell him but was so afraid that he would hate me.

After sometime I get a call from my parents and that is when I realized that they are and will always be my strength. They were happy that I told them the truth and now they were coming to see me to decide what to do. When they came, I felt at home, for the first time in a long time I knew I was making the right decision by deciding to leave college and go back to Dubai.

And that, folks, is how I left college and quit being an architecture student and came back to Dubai to join Manipal University to study media and communications. Now I am one of the top scorers of the class and I am happy-very happy with my life. I don't binge eat and I hate coffee ;D

So if any of you out there face any problems, trust me, tell your parents because they are the lifejackets you need in life when you are drowning.

Friday 1 May 2015

Presenting From Archestra and studio 46 THE AVENGERS!

(By Ridha and Chitra with the help of our little crew ;) )

Disclaimer: we have only tried this as a joke, and we took the liberty of rummaging through your fb photos and display pictures.

So last night Ridha had a sudden epiphany. How would it be if the avengers were cast from DOA of TKMCE.
These last few days it has been a trend in the social media to cast avengers from their favourite movie industry. So why cant we have our own? So here is what the I, student architect crew came up with. (We have only considered the fourth and third batches to limit our possibilities.)

Presenting From Archestra and studio 46!

THE AVENGERS!

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