THE DROPOUT'S STORY

MY MARRIAGE TO ARCHITECTURE 

#2 STORY OF A DIVORCE.

(Admin's note : Second year of college was probably the worst year of my life, and its only thanks to Aparna that i was able to pull through. she was there for me through thick and thin, and letting her go was really difficult ! so when i started this blog, i wanted her to be a part of it, even though she stopped being an archi and left TKM. So i asked her to write for my blog.
After reading Aparna's story, i thought this article belonged in the "MY MARRIAGE TO ARCHITECTURE " series, that i started off 2 weeks back . So i took the liberty of making it part of it.)

(Written By Aparna Kumar )

For a student to drop out, it's the worst thing anyone can ever think about. We are brought upin a society where one doesn't have a say in their lives. We are pushed into making decisions because our family wants to look good in society and not even care whether the child wants it or not. 

I wasn't a victim of this, yet I was as well. The thing is after 12th I had no idea what I wanted, and being a child who always thought that her parents were disappointed in her, I wanted to make them proud.  So, naturally I went along with their decision to join architecture, the course my dad had been wanting me to join since a long time so that I could take over his company.

Well let's just say it was disaster just waiting to happen. I fell in love with the place when I saw it on the first day. It was so tranquil so peaceful. I felt like I belonged there, and for once in my life I actually thought this was THE place where I can shine but it was like as if god was trying to mock me by showing how hell looks from the outside. Don't get me wrong I still love the college and the place but not the people. There were some friends who were my pillars of support through everything and for that I thank them. without them I don't know what I would have done.

 I am a girl who is quiet and shy at first and then when I become close I become talkative and fun. My first problem was that everyone was talking in malayalam and that too with slangs and everything. I was born and brought up in Dubai and my family is a traditional malayalee family but because of my school  I was forced to speak english all the time; at school and at home. So due to this I was very shy to talk to people as I didn't want them to make fun of me. Worst part was even the teachers sometimes explained in malayalam, this was super bad for me. When I thought I had mastered malayalam and everything was peaceful again, another problem arose; me lack of knowledge about any of the subjects. Everyone around acted like they knew everything ; it was like they had graduated and came back again. 

And last but definitely the worst problem the design. I hated designing. I know what you must be thinking; you are an architecture student so how could you hate designing? well I hated it because I was no good at it. I was so bad I never even knew I could be this bad at something until now. All the teachers were behind me yelling at me , telling me I'm no good, I should just quit etc. This led me into depression and by depression I mean badddd depression.

 I would eat a hell lot of chocolates and chips just to be happy. I survived on junk and outside food. Money started going really fast from my hands because I used to spend so much on food. I would eat all the time. Binge eating became my second nature. Coffee became my best friend.

 I couldn't even sleep, I would just aimlessly watch movies on my laptop and do something on my sheets and just submit them. I knew this couldn't go on anymore. I had to stop it before it was too late. So I had serious talk with my best friend. How much she helped no one will ever know except us. She was so kind to me and she understood what I was going through and never ever judged me as a spoiled brat who just missed luxury. 

Honestly I didn't miss Dubai. I just hated the course. If I could have studied something else there I would have but engineering and architecture were the only two things available there. And at last with her help I sent an email to my dad saying everything that I have always wanted to tell him but was so afraid that he would hate me. 

After sometime I get a call from my parents and that is when I realized that  they are and will always be my strength. They were happy that I told them the truth and now they were coming to see me to decide what to do. When they came, I felt at home, for the first time in a long time I knew I was making the right decision by deciding to leave college and go back to Dubai.

And that, folks, is how I left college and quit being an architecture student and came back to Dubai to join Manipal University to study media and communications. Now I am one of the top scorers of the class and I am happy-very happy with my life. I don't binge eat and I hate coffee ;D

So if any of you out there face any problems, trust me, tell your parents because they are the lifejackets you need in life when you are drowning.